Wow, it's been 2 years! In that period of time it seems Blogs have lost their status, like very few still get updated. Everybody had this idea they where gonna get rich and make money just talking about what they do or have done. I never really had that illusion, I just enjoyed the writing aspect of it.
Then i just quit!
Why am i here today? not really sure, maybe i just need to talk. This summer i really trained and spent a lot of money getting ready for something that was so far out of the normal for me that I was honestly scared, scared of the what if. Then after a 2 day drive and a few days getting ready I hit the start and within 3 hours all that planning and training and money was over. I feel like I failed! Failed miserably!
I lined up for the Colorado Trail Race, a fully self supported multi-day endurance event. I had a mechanical, my rear cassette broke. 20 miles into a 500 mile bike race I was done! Long story short, after back tracking to the last road I had crossed and by the grace of god I ended up back at the same hotel I had left that morning.
I don't think people understand when I say I cried. Hell it still upsets me now! You see during this race you are tracked via satellite through a spot beacon. Everybody I know who had a interest in me was watching from 2000 miles away. I still feel like I let them down. Really i didn't let anyone down but it sure feels that way.
Overall it was a great trip I got to spend a week with my wife in Colorado and a week with my youngest son out west. I got to see a lot of family i hadn't seen in years and it was awesome. Colorado is amazing and western Kansas still holds my heart.So what do I have to complain about, not much beside the fact I didn't get to do a bike race.
Willi go back? Not sure yet, I want to I need too. It's all in my head, but I aint getting any younger! life is short and it gets shorter everyday. If,, if I go back it will be for me and no other reason.